Wednesday, December 29, 2004

525,600 minutes in a year

It has been a sad year. Earthquakes, tsunamis, avian flu, missing children who turn up dead, freak car accidents taking away loved ones.. Bad things come together hor? How come good things don't? I've been watching the news. And worrying about our dearest Indian Princess, Mira. Glad that Nad has managed to contact her and she's safe and sound. Hope Aunty Betty and Annika will be safe too. I feel sorry for the 63,000 who died. I wonder if I should feel relieved for the people who survived, but lost their loved ones? I know if it was me, I'd choose to go with them. What is life without the ones you love? God is warning mankind. It was 1 week before 2005 when the earthquake struck and the tsunamis started. Is the world going to end? Or is it just a test? A test of our courage, our love and our willingness to help? I've never felt so glad to be living in tiny Singapore. An island shielded by huge land masses that seem to take the worst of any natural disaster. Heavy thunderstorms, floods, earthquakes, tornadoes. I feel the gloominess in the air. I can almost sense the kind of helplessness that's overcoming the people in the affected areas. Or maybe I can't. I haven't been trapped in debris, swept away by gigantic waves or hit by falling houses and cars. I haven't had to live without drinking water, permanently sleep in a tent, wade through the streets flooded with water or share a roof with probably hundreds of people. Here we are, sitting comfortably in our chairs, watching tv, shopping for gifts, planning for new year celebrations, enjoying feasts. I almost feel guilty. For celebrating. For laughing. For making plans for new year. Yet, there's nothing much I can do. I can only donate clothes, money, food. Today, that indian woman "conveyed" a message from my boss to me. I wasn' t supposed to have breakfast at the cafeteria. And got pissed with someone else who said something too. I ended up being pissed off with almost everyone in the office. Even Jenny, cos she said she was downstairs watching a soccer match. And here I was, stuck in my puny cubicle, typing dumb stuff into the system. But then I thought, there are people worse off than me. I should learn to look on the bright side. So I started thinking. At least I can quit whenever I want, if I really don't like it. At least I get paid. Well enough. At least I have people who stick up for me and cheer me up. Oh wells. That should get me through Jan and Feb. 2 months more only. I'm sure I can get through it. But, I still can't stand the whiney Indian woman and people shouting in their rooms. And laughing. Then complaining they are trapped in mountains of work piling up. One of these days. I'll not be able to take it anymore. And scream my head off at them! "IF YOU SHUT UP AND STAYED AT YOUR DESK LONG ENOUGH, YOU MIGHT JUST ABOUT FINISH ONE WEEK'S WORTH OF WORK, DONKEYS!" "NO POINT COMPLAINING YOU'RE BUSY AND BEHIND TIME, YET SPEND HOURS IN SOMEONE'S OFFICE LAUGHING YOUR DONKEY HEADS OFF!" "SO! YOU THINK YOU OWN THE BLOODY OFFICE? YOU DO REALISE THERE ARE OTHER BEINGS IN THE OFFICE WHO ARE ACTUALLY DOING WORK?! IT WOULD BE QUITE NICE OF YOU IF YOU COULD JUST TALK A LITTLE SOFTER AND LAUGH A LITTLE LESSER, YOU KNOW!" "SO WHAT IF I HAVE A LONG BREAKFAST, HUH!? I DO TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU AND I ACTUALLY HAVE MOUNTAINS TO PROVE IT, ASSES!" Ok. I'm done. Sorry for screaming. I actually feel like a can of compressed air waiting to explode. I don't really give F*** about this shit job. I should just quit and let you handle all the shit. Bah. Humbugs. Cockroaches. Rats. *Rolls eyes* Thank god for the NS guys in my department. And Jenny. They are the reasons I'm staying. At least for the time being. It's the time of the year again, to make new year resolutions! I only have one. And that is... "Not to make any new year resolutions!" Because I know I can't keep them. So there. Sorry for screaming.

Friday, December 24, 2004

Season's Greetings!!

People!! It's Christmas Eve!! Also our last carolling performance at Flutes@The Fort. Wheee!! Merry Christmas everyone!! Spread the Joy!! Woohoo!! Give me presents!!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Low Battery

I'm on LOW BATT. As in, me, as a person, I am running on low batt. I feel my attention/concentration-span waning. My memory failing. My voice detaching itself from me. It has even become independent. It can go to sleep without me. It's amazing. In the past one month (exactly), since Nov 17, I've handled: - two major exam papers - a full time office hour job at Singapore Police Force HQ - intensive classes (5-day block teaching that starts at 9 and ends at 5 on Sats and 3-hour lessons from 7pm-10pm) - intensive choir practices for our carolling gig at Flutes@The Fort which takes up days when I don't have classes (Mons, Tues, Thurs) - performances on Weds and Thurs this week and Tues, Thurs, Fri next week. I don't know how I've managed to come by this far, but I swear I'm going to be dying out soon. I've got my pay but I haven't had time to go shopping. And it's becoming easier to find me. I'm either at Toa Payoh (classes), Marine Parade (practices), Fort Canning (performance) or Novena (work). Or you can try looking for me at home after 12am, please. Anyways, Flutes@The Fort is a really nice place. Alright. Nice is an understatement. To quote from fellow choir member, "it's a place that looks like a page out of a Lifestyle magazine." Flutes is a restaurant that serves fine-dining. You know, Foie Gras, Red wine, more than one pair of cutlery on your table, that kinda thing. Or ya, at least 3 different types of wine glasses too. One for ice water, one for red wine, one for any other drinks you order. Yeah well, Flutes is also a place for rich pigs to go to. A standard dinner there will set you back about $120 per pax. And that's BEFORE service charge, GST and CESS. Will take some pics when I go there on Tues next. They have a real cute waiter too. Bwahahahah. And rowdy ang-mohs. Seriously, I sometimes think Singaporeans don't know how to enjoy themselves. We performed for 2 groups last night. The alfresco was occupied by a group from a US-based company and Fire Chief's Room was occupied by a group of more-local diners. The contrast in the two was like chalk and cheese. Oil and water. White and black. The ang-mohs were thoroughly enjoying themselves, drinking themselves silly and they came in costumes. Christmas costumes. When we sang, they sang along and clapped excitedly when we finished. The local diners were rather quiet and (dare I say it) rather dead. I don't know why, maybe it was the songs we sang inside or maybe we didn't sound very good. Wahahaha. But either way, they looked like they couldn't wait for us to finish and the response we got from there was lukewarm. I'm quite disappointed at that fact. I would have thought the X'mas season and the ambience would loosen up us straight-tie people. But obviously not. While the ang-mohs were having a ball of a time, the locals looked rather out of place at a X'mas dinner. I really don't mean to compare. But as a performer, I would much prefer to perform to an appreciative audience rather than to a group of "can't-wait-for-you-to-finish" crowd. We mingled around with the alfresco crowd after our performance as one of the bosses has kindly offered to buy us all a round of drinks. Girls had a sweet cocktail and the guys had a glass of Kilkenny's. They were very nice too, they talked to us, asking us where we were from and telling us how good we were and how much they enjoyed our performance. Hee hee. And a very pretty caucasian lady approached me and told me I have a beautiful voice. Ha ha. Pardon me. I just have to say that to satisfy my narcissistic self. I have been singing for 8 years!!! And it's the first time an audience tells me I have a beautiful voice. Wahaha. And I wasn't even singing the melody line. I'm an Alto. I don't get to sing nice melody lines. I sing harmony lines. The kinda lines that make them melody lines sound nice. Yay. I'm over the moon. And high from drinking that cocktail. And tired. I have half a mind to skip International Business Economics tonight. Doubt I can absorb anything anyways. Should I or should I not. Oh yes. I'm home alone. Mum and Dad have gone to KL and left me HOME ALONE. Bah. I'm acting director today. And I'm bored. *Yawnz* I wanna see Rachie's new puppy!!! Leslie!!! Yoohoo!!! *Gone*

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Why?

The ever mind-boggling question. Why are guys so scared of girls crying? Can someone answer me?

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Need a Breath

I'm telling you, I really need a breath! Been busy, so busy you can't imagine. Burnt Saturdays for class that I don't freaking understand and helping out at Zhenting's event until 2am! Burnt weekdays at my depressing work place. The bureacracy system obviously does not suit me. I am not a BUREACRATIC person. Throw me into a profit-driven company, please!! I don't care if I'm overworked or underpaid. I just freaking can't stand bureacracy. I ain't going to call someone "Sir" or "Ma'am" just because he/she holds a RANK and has more stars on his/her shoulders than those on the USA flag. Sorry. I'm not being racist here, but I CAN'T FREAKING STAND THAT INDIAN WOMAN IN MY DEPARTMENT!!! She whines too much (look who's talking :P), screams too much, squeals (yes, squeal), walks with her bloody handphone knocking against the case holding her pass, laughs too loudly and bosses people around. She complains she has TONNES of work, but never seem to be doing any!!! If she uses the amount of time she spends walking up and down, chatting with other people, sms-ing and chatting with her boyfriend (whom she says is irritating when he called her), she might just have more time on her hands to actually do her work. DUMB. Sorry, I really just need to get it out of my system. Work is depressing. Job scope makes me appear to be an anti-social freak who doesn't talk. Hardly very motivating. The only thing that's motivating me is my PAY. Which I hope they will give me soon. Depression makes me sick. Fell sick on Tues, splitting headache. Thurs, went home after half day. Then might as well just take Friday off! Hee hee. That's 2.5 days off last week. I must make it a complete week next week. Haven't work a complete 5-day week yet. But it seems like I'm working a 10 year week there. Looking forward to Choir practice tomorrow. Seeing those buncha crazy people makes me happy. Love the songs we're doing. "We wish you a Merry Christmas", "Jingle Bell Rock", "Silent Night", "Joy to the World" and some more I haven't seen. Been eating a lot of sushi these few weeks. Too much. I think. Just last week, I've had sushi on Saturday, then Friday (buffet, I almost exploded), then Saturday for lunch. Douglas Foo would be pleased to know he has such a loyal customer. I only eat Sakae Sushi. And perhaps Sushi Tei. I don't trust other sushi bars with my sashimi. Uh-uh. No waaayy. I miss my friends. I miss going out with Karen and Shuling. Luckily I just saw Zhenting and Mich last night. AND I SAW THE CUTEST DIRECTOR (of a company, not movie) AT THE DINNER AND DANCE LAST NIGHT! OMG. HE IS SO HANDSOME! SUAVE! CHARMING! CUTE! I'm sure his 3 daughters are as cute as him. Damn. How much are Emporio Armani's pants? Pretty expensive, right? I think. He was wearing one of those. Sigh. Christmas is coming! So exciting! :) Right, I'm off. Another depressing day at work tomorrow, I'm sure. Sob.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

I can't wait for BIS to be over. Exams really suck, don't they. Dammit. I think I'm going to fail. :( I'm suffering from a nervous breakdown. I'm going to be BUSY till Christmas. So, sorry guys, if I don't update here or you don't see me online.. I'll be having carolling practices and classes. Every single day of the week. Darn. TILL CHRISTMAS!! Food comm steamboat! I want to go!!! Seriously. Haix. But chances are bleak since Rach L isn't free on weekends and I'm not free on weekdays. :( Miss you guys loads!!!! Ciao. Oh ya. Wish me luck for my BIS paper. *Fingers crossed*

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Busy

I am SO sorry for the lack of updates. I've started work at Police HQ. Ho ho. I love government jobs! Ok, the job scope kinda sucks. But the place is like, FANTASTIC! The place I'm working at is New Phoenix Park. Sounds cool right? I mean, even the name of the place sounds so cool. Like Silicon Valley. Haha. I'm crazy. There're two buildings joined together, Ministry of Home Affairs and Singapore Police Force HQ. There's a food court, a gym, a library, a multipurpose sports hall and a blody garden. It's like a CONDOMINIUM!!! All it lacks is a swimming pool. And Internet access. Darn. I don't have Internet access!! Only Intranet. So boring la. All I do is data entry. But it's skilled data entry ok. Not your ordinary data entry. It's so difficult. Never mind. I can't say much. I signed a code of secrecy. If I tell you, I'd have to kill you. *Snort* Ah! My exams are coming! Like in 4 days' time! And I. Haven't. Started. So help me, God. I'm sorry I didn't reply your SMS Rach L. Was away and without my handphone. Oops. And to those who check my blog. So sorry to have let you all see the same entry for the past 1 week. I've been busy KTV-ing. First with Shuling and gang, then with 1B17. OMG. I sang like 6hrs of KTV. The KTV place at Marina South is so stylo. A disco + pub + KTV all-in-one. Hah. And it opens till 6am. If I hear another Jay Chow(Chou?) song, I'd die. And I'm so sleep deprived, I can sleep for 15hrs straight. I've been shitting alot too. Hah. Must be the "healthy" lifestyle I'm having now. I think by the end of the 3 months' contract, I'd have toned legs and a firm ass. Hmmm. One of the perks (pun intended) of working at NPPK. Wheee! Ok. I need to study. Till 25 Nov.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Gah. This is the Sally in question. Heh. It doesn't appear in the blog entry! Nah! You can have the entire post to yourself! *Fumes*
Posted by Hello

News

Anybody looking for Olympus/ Canon/ Fujifilm/ Panasonic cameras? Please drop by Funan The IT Mall (Or store, I can't remember). Level 5, there's a small shop, ZoomPix. Guaranteed Low Prices! Olympus Mini retailing at only $525 (w/o GST), $120 off the market price! Woohoo! Olympus Mini White? Posted by Hello Or Red? Posted by Hello Free gift is a 128MB memory card! Sounds too good to be true? Well, it is! I sound like a TV commercial. I mean, it's really true. My cousin is working there. It's really cheap. So if any of you guys are looking for digicams, ZoomPix is the place to go! Hahaha. But please don't say I told you all to go there. Hahaha. I'll get killed. So urm, just pretend you all don't know la, ok? Deal? Set. Check out my new French Manicure below! French Manicure! Posted by Hello Looks pro? Not. It's D-I-Y!! Urm, it's Do-It-Yourself. I did it myself! And those are my nails, of course. With the help of this!

Sally Hansen's French Manicure Kit
Posted by Hello
But Sally is so mean to me! She cheated me of the French Manicure painting guides!! :( I had to do my french manicure without the painting guides. But it still turned out well, didn't it? In fact, I was so pleased with it, I took a photo and MMS-ed to Karen! Hahahaha. Eh, Sally, you very bad. Your French Manicure set already so expensive!! $13.05 from Watson's. Then still want to cheat me of my painting guides. Hmmphx. Not very ethical of you, Sally. *Shakes head* Ooh, the Police HQ personnel called! Whee! I'm going to start work on the 8th Nov! Hee hee. Wheee! And I got my provisional results for my Human Resource report. Boohoohoo!! I only managed a C!!!! Hmmmphx. I think Mike O' Connor don't like me. Hah. Dumb. Somebody failed though. Hmm.. Hope it's not Alan, Cindy or Junxian. Gah, I need to eat. Later.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Should I? Or should I not?

How many times have you kept your feelings to yourself for fear that being honest and open about your feelings will spoil the relationship you have with a person? I am used to being open and honest. I can't keep myself from not thinking about things. "What ifs" are my favourite. What if I told him, and he feels otherwise? What if he avoids me? What if it affects the friendship? What if I told him, and he says, "Why'd you only tell me now? I've already someone else." Too late, darling. Too late. What if I told him, and he says, "But I only treat you as a friend. Nothing else." Will I be heartbroken? Will I be relieved? For me, the key to moving on is to tie up all loose ends. I'm not one to keep feelings to myself. They need to get out. Only then will I be able to move on. I need to answer to myself, "At least I tried, he just didn't feel the same. Let's just move on with life." Or maybe, "I guess he's just not The One." Whatever it is, I just have to let it out. Hiding feelings just isn't my thing. But why am I not feeling the same about this? I haven't been rejected for a long time. I haven't been in love for a long time. I've forgotten how rejection feels like. And I don't want to feel it again. I've forgotten how being in love feels like. I'd like to feel that again. More, please. I'm just afraid. Afraid of the consequences. The reactions. The confrontations. Most importantly. I'm afraid of the rejection. They always say, "It's easier for a girl to make the first move. Guys rarely will reject a girl who makes the first move." Right. I don't feel the same way! I feel that guys are more likely to reject girls who make the first move. Thinking, "Oh my god. She's so thick-skinned/ outspoken/ open/ honest/ whatever adjective to describe a girl who makes the first move!" But I'm just afraid of the reaction. As well as the "after-math" of the honesty. Honesty is the best policy. No? Well, if it's mutual, it's good. Yes. If it's not mutual and only one side is honest, it's not! And then what comes after telling him my feelings? Hmm. "Then?" Erm. We'll remain the same. Hah. Nothing else. I just needed to let it out. Eh? Argh. I don't know what to do! Help! This is driving me nuts. Crazy. Mad. Cranky. Siao. Gila. Bonkers. Up the wall. IT'S HAUNTING ME EVERYDAY. Should I? Or should I not? So what is it?

Overdue Greetings

Some overdue greetings! Granny Selena has memory problems and need to eat more bananas for potassium! First. Happy 20th Karen!!! Yay! Welcome to the "20's Club"! Finally. Cheers to 4 years of friendship! Hope you had a great birthday! And hope you enjoy the present Zhenting and I got for you! Love ya! *Muacks!* Second. Heartiest congratulations to Rachel Lum and James for passing your driving tests!! Yay! 2 more drivers to the club! Whee! Can I get a ride?

Monday, November 01, 2004

It's a sign?

I thought as long as I keep myself busy, I'd forget you. But in the process, I forgot what I was running away from. The fear of rejection, the fear of anticipation. The need for happiness, should overcome all these fears. Maybe it's God's plan. To let me know what is true love. To make me stronger.
I will wait, along the coasts, for you.
Maybe one day, the tide will change, and bring you back.

New bag! Bought at the Metro Warehouse Sale! Wheee!
Posted by Hello

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Further

Drifting further and further... I can't see you anymore... The tide is bringing you away... I think I'm going to miss you... Maybe one day, the tide will bring you back...

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Metro Warehouse Sale

Dropped by the Metro Warehouse sale today! Wowee! Huge! Lotsa people! Lotsa stuff to buy! Girls, if you are in need of BRAS, UNDERWEAR, CHOCOLATE, please drop by at the Warehouse sale. Tomorrow last day! Cheap bras, cheap underwear, cheap chocolate. Hwah. My mum had already grabbed some bras by the time I joined her at the Expo. When I met her, she was like, "Faster, go and try on these bras!" Er. Ok. Anyways, she bought ALOT OF CHOCOLATE! I don't know how is she going to finish all of them. But it's really cheap. 12 bars for $9. New pattern ones. Can go check it out. And also those gigantic cadbury bars. Wah seh. 3 going for $10. OK la, not DIRT cheap, just QUITE cheap. But the bras are really cheap ok. She also managed to find cheap tables. Hahahaha! $4 each. Bedside tables actually, one got drawer one. And the other one was a set of 3 bedside tables in varying heights. Ho ho! Fantastic la. $4!!!! Usually I think you have to pay at least $50 for one of those. I also finally managed to buy a bag! Wahahahaha. Too bad the infra-red connection is scrooed. If not can show ya all! Psst. I went for another interview on Friday. Wooohooo! Police HQ. No, I'm not becoming a part-time policewoman. Just going to help out with the admin stuff. That's if they hire me. Jenny will be working there too! Hopefully we'll be able to start work together! Thanks babe, for intro-ing me the job. Let's cross our fingers and hope to get the job! OOh. I saw the Olympus [Mju] Mini Digital. You know the new Olympus camera, with the funky shape? The one they keep showing on Singapore Idol. You know? Ok, never mind if you don't know. I'm saving up for a digicam! And getting the job will help speed up the process. Is Canon good? I think Canon has the best cameras around. The IXUS looks good. Then after that comes Sony. I still like the P100. The round one. How ah. Then now got this Olympus Mini. Aiyo. Headache. Maybe I should just worry about whether I'll get the job first. Hahaha. Ok. Watching Singapore Idol encore telecast! The week that Jerry Ong got the boot. Hey! I heard Christopher got eliminated. Alamak. Quite sad. Sure he can't sing, but he's got a million-dollar smile. Megawatt! Right. I'm off.

Still stuck

Sigh~ I thought I've moved on. But apparently I haven't. I'm still stuck at the same place. How ah? I'm moving, but not ahead. I'm still at the same spot. Like running on a treadmill. Moving. Yet still on the same spot. Get what I mean? I hate feeling like this. In a month. I promised myself. I will tell all. A friend just said, "All guys are idiots." Ok, so to a certain extent, that's true. Then what makes us? I mean, girls who like guys!? Even more idiotic, no? Because we like guys, who are idiots? Yes? Makes sense right!? Another friend say, "Nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai." Loosely translated it means, girls like bad guys. o_O Sad, but true. Then again, girls like good guys too! Or maybe it's just me? I must be crazy. Liking a guy like him. Always busy. Always "long day tomorrow." Argh. What did I get myself into. Never mind. Motivation: One month later, it'll all be over. One more month, that's it. Or maybe even sooner, if he suddenly has good news to tell me. Meanwhile, it's back to the treadmill. Jog jog jog jog jog.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Retribution la

Alright. I haven't been updating. Nothing much. Just haven't been updating. Heh. Ok. My bad. I know how it feels to keep coming back to this page but seeing the same entry. Must have been boring huh. So! Dad was in China last week. Meaning, I was taking over as chauffeur for the coming 4 days. Bah. And waking up early is so not easy. Dozing off during work. Hah. You know, I think I got my retribution. This is what happened. Kelly Services called me to tell me I am offered a data entry position at some bank at Raffles Place. Pay was $6 an hour, 8:30am to 6:00pm, 5-day week. So that day, Thursday, I went to Kelly Services to sign some confidentiality form thing and to discuss my job scope. Then when I returned to the office, I saw an email notification from Friendster, telling me that I had a message from Clare, my PSB classmate. She told me that she had a receptionist position at a petroleum trading company place and asked me whether I was interested. $8 an hour, 9am to 6pm, 5-day week at Orchard. I felt like banging against the blody wall! Of course, being the practical-minded person I was (which is why I am in Business), I gladly accepted Clare's offer. Then I was stuck. How do I tell Kelly Services? Surely they would think I'm an irresponsible freak. Accepting their offer but at the same time accepting another offer. Although the pay was higher, it was really very unethical. Nevertheless, I needed the higher pay. So I called the nice lady and told her apologetically that I couldn't take up the data entry job. I also told her, stupidly, the truth, that I was offered a higher pay at the receptionist job and the conditions were obviously better. I can't tell a bloody lie to save my life. She was, of course, blody pissed. And I could tell. Her replies were curt. I even sent her an apology email. Bah. Which she, of course, didn't reply. Heh. But still, I was damn happy because $8 an hour! Wheeee! And it was nearer to school too! Alas, the joy did not last. The next day, I received an SMS from Clare. It said: "I hope you have not rejected the other offer. The lady just cancelled her leave. So they would not be hiring." Ok. -_-!!! I was like, WHAT THE HELL!!!!! Alright. I guess this is what you call retribution. It's what you get when you're irresponsible. Bah. So I suppose Kelly Services will never, ever, EVER contact me for another job anymore. I'm probably on their "IGNORE" list. Gah. Sigh. So I am now "retrenched", even before I started work. But then, that happens to me ALL THE TIME! I don't know why! I promise I will accept a job offer that pays $6 an hour, 8:30am to 6pm, 5-day week, the NEXT time I am offered one. I swear. Really. And I am still very sorry about being so irresponsible. But then. There were happy things! Like the "Made in Singapore" concert on Friday. Met up with Rach C, Mira and Rach L. Tickets courtesy of Rach L. My first performance at the Esplanade. Wahahahaha! And I promise I'll be back for Mamma Mia. Really. First! Thanks Rach darling, for the wonderful tickets. Circle 2 ok. Don't play play. Can see quite clearly hor. I managed to get the car! Whee! Dad allowed me to drive the car to the concert! Hee hee. So, I met up with Rach C and Mira at Tanah Merah. Surprise, surprise, I managed to get to Esplanade without losing my way! Wahaha! And thank god we decided to park at the Marina Square carpark instead of the Esplanade one. It was full. Hah. The concert was great fun!!! Adrian Pang was witty and hilarious!!! Very good emcee. Very talented. Kumar. Well, he was very, Kumar. Racist, but it made sense. Sarcastic, but hilarious. He made fun of himself and he could laugh at himself. That's a very big thing to do. Lin Jun Jie aka JJ was GREAT! Wheee!! Although I think he didn't sing live. I mean, how many pop acts sing Live nowadays? Right? Well, I could be wrong. He was great nonetheless. Really. When he played the piano and sang, I just melted!! Gawdddd. His voice! I totally dig a guy with a great voice and musically inclined! Gah. Robert Fernando was great too! He and Rahima Rahim. They sang a duet. "Unforgettable". Truly. It was a great concert. I realised these guys are REALLY talented. Their voice, so powerful! And then there was "loose kneecaps and elbows". Wahahaha. Rach L had a good laugh over that. Hahahaha. And Mira's, "Where's Tania?" LOL. Ok, you guys probably wouldn't know what I am talking about. Ah wells. That's enough update for the week. It's going to be a busy week! Ah-Zhong kor kor's wedding this Friday! Pretty bride! Wowee. Positively radiant. I guess it's true, women are the most beautiful when they are getting married. Sigh. I'll have to wait for my turn. :) Meanwhile, I'll just be eating at wedding dinners! Hahaha. And the "Thank You" dinner @ TKSS this Thursday. Oooh, the principal is thanking us for performing at the Speech Day in July. Hahaha. Took her abit long to call back this dinner. Well, better late than never. Looking forward to see all the gang. They'd better turn up. Or else.. So. Any job offers? I promise I'll take it. Hahaha.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Somewhere Over The Rainbow, ERHU VERSION!?

It's fantastic! Some golden-hair guy is playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow with an Er-Hu!!!! OMG! And it sounds nice! *awe* I'm amazed. I played Bridge for over 10 hours yesterday. At Kok Ling's 21st birthday chalet. Haha. Can you imagine 10 hours of bridge!? My goodness. I never expected bridge to be so addictive. And fun! Taught Nad how to play after Aloy left. Heh. Rach C, Lawrence aka Hang Ten "Shingapore", Nad aka clear-and-cut and me played from 8 to 6am in the morning. You guys should learn how to play Bridge! It's a great game. And it's nicer than Mahjong. Ho ho. Towards the end, Nad was already hysterical from lack of sleep and I was not thinking clearly anymore. Hahaha. And I love this phrase. "Let's get it together, team!" Hahahahahaha! I love that phrase. Some photos. I'm really lazy to type more words. Mira trimmed her eyebrows! Hahaha, Mich and I always end up having similar hairstyles. Ho ho. Great minds think alike. *winks* The cake that got everyone puzzled. "What's that brown patch at the side?" No wonder they said "No using of handphones while driving". Heh. I almost killed myself while taking this picture. But the scenary was nice. Ho ho. Nice rite?! Bah, traffic jam on the other side. Got bored waiting for the lift to come. Hahaha. Ooh. Went over to 4th Auntie's place to have dinner and a game of mahjong! Woweee! I actually won! $9! And that's only after like a few rounds. Ho ho! And mummy owes me $4. Wahahahaha. Dad's gone to China! I missed sending him off because I reached home late from the chalet. And to think I ran all the way home from the bus stop. WAH. My neighbours must be thinking I'm doing my morning jog. Heh. Ok. I'm off to sleep. More photos with Nad! Wheee!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Kit Kat Strawberry and A Happy House Diary

Rachie C bought me a Happy House diary! Check it out! Cute eh? I love it! Hahaha, I shall write in it tonight! Wheee! And she gave me a box of KitKat Strawberry too! See! It looks so cute I can't bear to eat it! Wahahaha. I mean, I don't even want to open the package because I'd spoil it! Oh dear. Thanks darling! We go watch Mamma Mia together with Rach Lum? Hee. I know you want to watch la! Hahaha, don't deny it. Keke. Ooh. No more 1B17 supper tomorrow night! Kenny is sick! High fever. Poor thing. Next week, perhaps. Hope he'll be fine by then. 2046 looks nice eh? Anyone want to watch? Hahaha. Hope it's not too arty-farty. I'm not an arty-farty person. Hahaha. But with Tony Leung and Takuya Kimura, I don't really care whether I understand or not. Muahahahaha. Oh ya! Did I mention! I have a classmate who looks like Zai Zai! o_O Heh. High school kid making out with classmate's Mom!? OMG. That kinda stuff only happens in the States. Hahaha. And in The O.C. Am going to write in my new diary! Wowee!

Heh

Some people (namely this irritating tagger, net or Linette as she insists on calling herself) just don't get the meaning of GET OUT. Or how about being un-noticed, unknown, unheard, unseen? Ok ok, maybe that's too cheem too. How about INVISIBLE? Surely that's easy to understand. But then maybe I overestimated some people's brain capacity. Sorry, I was judging by the vocabulary of my 12-year-old nephew. He knows what's invisible and he knows when to SHUT UP. But some people just don't get it! And claims that she doesn't know me personally. Hah. Does that make her feel more secured? Since then I wouldn't guess who she REALLY is? Oh my god. She actually shares the same sentiments about me as I do about her! Right. And then what? I wonder if she thinks that because of her "oh-so-hurtful" tag, I'd hide in a corner and cry my eyes out? Or does she think that I'd regret what I said earlier and apologise for my honesty and open-ness? Oh god. How very naive. Ok, maybe I was wrong. She isn't thinking of any of those. Then I truly wonder, what is she doing here? Hiding her identity, thinking I'm "very stupid", to quote her words, and tagging unpleasant remarks. I'm "very stupid" eh? At least I'm doing my degree now at a Premier League (meaning Top 10 in ranking in the country) University in the United Kingdom (I'm afraid she doesn't know what U.K means, you see) that comes complete with Direct Honours and a chance to go to the United Kingdom to do my final year. What about her, "oh-so-smart" girl? She'd still be stuck here in Singapore, working for some boss who'd pay her peanuts but then of course you can't complain because, well, beggars can't be choosers. A person of her calibre, taking on a fake moniker and acting so "protective", won't actually get very far in life. Alright. Maybe she has a rich boyfriend who can afford a rich and lavish lifestyle for her since she probably can't earn enough to pay for her materialistic needs. Ok. Then I got nothing to say since that boyfriend of hers is probably blind or has a witch doctor controlling his mind. If he has one. Am I very mean? I seldom do that you know. This "mode" is usually only reserved for people like "Linette". And so is that F*** word. Only reserved for people like her. But then, given her stubborn and proud nature, she'd probably rebutt with "It doesn't affect me at all!". I'm usually very nice and cheerful, always with a kind word. Unless of course, when I get treated with such unkindness and rudeness. "Linette" darling, you can go on tagging, I'll just go on deleting your posts. You know, there's really nothing you can do, because I, Selena Ho, am the BLOG ADMINISTRATOR! Wahahahahaha. "Linette", you should be working or if your brain can take it, studying (I doubt you can) you know, and not poking your witch-like nose into people's affairs. Like mine. I wish(not wishED, because I'm still wishing) I didn't know you too, honey. Trust me. My world has been so wonderful. Without you, of course. Look at it this way, "friend-in-mention" can defend herself, although it doesn't warrant that defensive mode since I wasn't attacking her. And it's really just between me and her. So why don't you, go find something else to do, rather than to "tresspass" into MY BLOG and DIRTYING MY PRETTY LIL' PURPLE AND PINK DOODLEBOARD with your UGLY presence. Argh. I shudder everytime I think of YOU reading my blog with your beady eyes, your spiteful mind, thinking of how to criticise me, it urks me. My stomach churns when I think of that. *Puke* I can visualise her laughing at this post. I had fun too! Or maybe the opposite. Shaking with anger? Ho ho. Whatever. Tag all you want. My explorer has bookmarked Doodle-board to delete your tags as soon as you post them. Well well, it's been fun writing this post. But then again, being revengeful ain't very healthy. So it's the end of this issue. Just remember, "Linette". You tag, I delete. Oh, before I forget, check out "invisible" on Dictionary.com. And while you're at it, browse through the rest of the Dictionary and add on to your limited vocabulary base.

Spiteful

I was reading through my Doodleboard archives when I came upon this particular tag by this person "net". I still don't like her tone. Or maybe his tone. But I think I have an idea of who it is. You might think I must be a very "spiteful" person, digging up a tag which was posted so long ago about a post/issue that happened long ago. The issue has been settled anyway. Both parties cherished this friendship too much to let it be ruined because of a boyfriend. But still. When I read the tag, especially the part where she said (I'm pretty sure it's a she)"... only know how to criticise people, on and on you go, never thinking it through." And that she thinks I should be disgusted with myself, presumably for "shooting my big fat mouth off about my friend". I wonder what makes her think I have a big fat mouth? She probably is blind because obviously you can tell I do not have a big fat mouth from the photos that I post up regularly on my blog. What makes her think I didn't think it through? Does she think I'm stupid? Writing such an honest entry and expecting my friend to not react to it? Of course I thought through it, stranger. I figured since the issue is already out in the open, why should I hide my feelings? I'm sure it's a she and someone I know ( I wished I did'nt know her) because why else can she assume that my ".. friend dun need .. so called save some friendship". If she doesn't know me, then why would she have such a big reaction? And how can she assume that I only criticise people? What about times/entries/posts when I praise people or am grateful for my friends, appreciate them, why don't I see her tagging that I'm such a nice friend and I appreciate my friends and I love them? And I wasn't criticising in that entry, I was voicing out our opinions. So was I wrong in voicing out my unhappiness and grievances? She voiced out her opinions, although rather subjective as I suppose she has a personal "grudge" with me. Besides, it was because of that entry that we made up. Friends must be completely honest. The truth might hurt and perhaps I was too blatant with my words, but I just wanted to make my opinions known. So to you "net", so brave to tag, yet too cowardy to use your real name, this is my blog, my world, my right in voicing out my opinions, your right to oppose, but as I said, personal attacks are not welcomed. And don't argue that you didn't personal attack me, because the phrase "big fat mouth" ain't very nice. Oh ya, why should I be disgusted with myself, as I should be, with you? For not listening to both sides of the story, for not having the guts to say your name (at least I'm honest in voicing out my opinions, while you don't even have the guts to say your real name), for making a personal attack, for coming to MY blog and blatantly accusing me of criticising my friend when I am not. I would tell you, you should be disgusted with yourself. Don't tell me what to do. This is my blog and I jolly well have all the rights to say what I want. At least I'm not bitching about her behind her back, as you most probably did, behind mine. I'm right out in the open. I'm honest. I say what I feel. And I make constructive comments. You can't stand honesty? Well, I can. I'd rather people be honest with me, rather than bitching around behind my back. At least she knows I treasure her as a friend and am honest. I have absolutely nothing to hide. What do you have? Probably friends who are not honest with their opinions because they're afraid that you would not be able to accept their opinions. And probably your own pitiful self who can't bear to say the truth and honest opinions about your own friends. I'm truthful and honest about my opinions but I make constructive comments and in the process, understand my friends better as they do with me. As a result, our friendship is stronger, more lasting and honest. Our arguments or disputes will only serve to make the friendship stronger. But unlike you, who'd probably bear a grudge to people who make honest comments about yourself, will probably lose that friendship and stick to "friends" who suck up to you. You'll never find your true self and be completely honest with yourself. I know you're still reading my blog. I have a request. No. A plea. Get out of my life. Go read somebody else's blogs. Read some superficial, "nice-nice", kawaii blogs that'll probably make you a nicer person. Ok, fine, if you want to read, I probably can't stop you. But please. Make yourself invisible. Unknown. Unseen. Read? I don't need your comments to tell me how to treat my friends. I treat them well enough to make them want to still be friends with me. And I have flaws that they accept e.g. my incessant criticism. So. Save the comments. Use it on yourself. Get out of here. You're not welcomed. Neither are your comments. But a word of thanks to you, for you made me realise that there are people who support of such honest entries and that my friend-in-mention is still very much my friend. SO JUST F*** OFF! My first F-word in weeks. Not nice, but necessary.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

I was a Girly Girl! =)

girly girl result Girly Girl What kind of little girl were YOU? brought to you by

Aloha! Guess who's back!

Hmmm. I don't know what to write! Hahaha! It's been 10 days since I blogged. Been trying to do my Human Resource assignment. But to no avail. Oh ya! I finished watching the whole series of Meteor Garden 1 on VCD. Muahahaha. Jerry Yan and Zai Zai are soooooo "shuai". Hee. Sigh~ That Shancai woman is soooo lucky to act with them. Ho ho. *Slaps self* It's just a drama serial. Bleah. I am finally done with my HR report. I never knew how difficult it was doing a report individually. Heh. Gotta do everything, from the content page, to summary, to bibliography and of course, the bloody findings. Heh. TP is terrible. They are scanning matric cards at the entrance of the library!!! Obviously they no longer allow non-TP students to go there. Stupid. Luckily the security guard was nice enough to let us in with our EZ link card. If not I wouldn't know where to go for reference books. Anyways, finally managed to be done with the 3000 word report. Haha. And got Shuling and Karen to print it out for me! Haha, laser jets are faster. And can save myself ink! 17 pages leh! :P So accomplished. Never done an individual full report before! Wheee! Been getting giddy attacks frequently these days. Wonder why. Low blood pressure? Hmmm. Am having one now. Gah. Feel like puking. These past 10 days, I've been keeping a pen and paper diary. Ho ho. In some notebook that was given free during TP's open house. Wahahahaha. But Rach C is buying me a Happy House diary! Yippee! It's gonna be a busy month. My calendar is filled. Almost everyday there's a birthday party or dinner or meet-up. It's quiet out here without Kenny. Heh. But we're meeting him on Friday! He's booking out! We're going to 85! Yummy stingray and sugarcane! Wheee! Can see how he looks like with a botak hairstyle. Gah. I can't take it anymore. My head's spinning and my room looks like it's spinning. Heh. *Dizzy* Nitez people. Will be back again!

Friday, October 01, 2004

Questions

I've blogged for over 2 years now. When I first started blogging, it was an outlet to let out my frustrations, problems and basically just help me sort out the stuff in my head. Nobody read my blog when it first started. Except maybe a few. One of the first being Joyce. She used to surprise me by calling me and asking how was I and was I having some problems. I used to be shocked at her "telepathic abilities". Like, how in the world did she know I was having problems!? Then I realised. She reads my blog. Soon after, more and more people were blogging. Or should I say, I "discovered" more and more blogs from people I know. Nad's, Joyce's and a few others I no longer read. To speak the truth, I ain't interested in reading other people blogs. Unless of those I know. Then the blogging community got larger and larger, expanding by the hundreds, thousands. Soon, everyone around me was a blogger! Then I discovered, more and more people were reading my blog! I realised it's no longer safe to put my deepest, darkest secrets online! Someone I know might read it! Or worse! Someone I'm talking about might be reading it! My blogs became more and more "commercialised". More and more "superficial". I don't blog my true feelings anymore. And on rare occassions that I do, I get "slammed", "flamed", "shot", confronted and criticised. All for just blogging how I really feel, what I really think. Opinions are mine. Solely MINE. I have the right to say how I feel. At least I'm being honest. Notice the phrase "All content copyright of Selena Ho Suyi."? If you don't like what I write, yes you may comment, but please direct it at the post. And not at the writer herself. I mean. Am I not allowed to air my opinions? You can write your opinions regarding the subject. But how can one judge a person by the posts that she writes? But anyways, that issue aside. I feel that I've somehow lost the purpose of blogging. Don't you feel that my entries these days have been really superficial? All about things I do, people I meet, things I bought, places I went. All so meaningless. To me, anyway. No offence to other bloggers. But really. It's not enough for me. I want to blog feelings, opinions, problems, relationships, true stuff. Yet. I can no longer do that. It seems that I've been "emptied". Of experiences, feelings and that something that's real. I've thought about this long and hard. Maybe I should set up another blog. One that I can blog my innermost feelings. One that I can say names. One that I can COMPLETELY let myself out. One that NOBODY knows about. That sounds like a great idea. I should do that. But I'm afraid. I'm a rather private person. I don't like the idea of someone finding out that "secret" blog. And trust me, it will be found out eventually. I thought maybe I should stop blogging completely. Until I've gained more experiences, know more people, establish something real in my life once more, before I come back and blog. I need to find the meaning in my blogging. Something I've lost for so long. I need to feel pain, sadness and anger. I need to feel happiness, joy and love. I need to find answers to my questions. Need to find meaning in life. Meaning in blogging. Maybe I'll be back. Maybe I'll not be.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Got lost

Good day people! I have BIG news. My dad, finally allowed me to drive out alone! Haha! Wonderful ain't it? Was supposed to meet the 1B17 gang today for Kenny's farewell as well as a mini-gathering. I guess my "nagging" and "persuasion" finally got into my dad's ears. Hahaha! And I suppose he realised that sooner or later, he'd have to let me drive on my own. Might as well now. Muahahahaha. We watched Jacky Jackie Chan's new show. "New Police Story" or something. Haha. It's hilarious! Worth $7.50 alright, people. Watch it when you need a good laugh, 'cos I sure had a mighty good laugh!! Except the part where Mira spilt half a bucket of popcorn on me. -_-!!! But still. It was a GREAT show. Lotsa funny parts, lotsa touching parts, lotsa "drool-worthy" guys, i.e. Daniel Wu (Baddie), Lian Kai (Cop who died in the first 15mins), Nicholas Tse (Funny guy) and there was Wu Bai and Wang Jie. Yes. THAT Wang Jie who sang Ni Shi Wo Xiong Kou Yong Yuan De Tong. Most of the cops who died in that first 15mins were "drool-worthy" too. Ooh. I forgot the main point of this entry. I got lost! I was supposed to go town! But I got out of the wrong exit, and I ended up at Thomson, where I made a wrong turn and ended up at Novena Square and United Square, where I made YET another WRONG turn and I ended up at Farrer Park (!!??!), where I had to "U" turn and get back to Newton Circus, where I made another wrong turn, and ended up at KK Hospital where I finally found the sign that read "Newton Circus". BUT! I made a wrong turn and ended up at Newton Circus Food Centre carpark, where I had to "U" turn to finally get back to Stevens Road. Where I was supposed to be, 15 mins earlier. Gah. Moral of the story. One wrong turn leads to another. o_O!!! But anyways, I managed to remain calm. And eventually, I found the way to Town. Ha. I started out at 7:35pm anyways, I reached town at 8:30pm. Hahahahaha! Could've taken the MRT and reached there at the same time. Lesson learnt anyways. At least now I know the way to town! After the show, when we went to the carpark to get our cars, I couldn't find the car! Kenny brought us walking in circles trying to find my car which I parked at the 5th level at Shaw Towers. Shaw Towers (or is it Plaza? Complex?) has this COMPLICATED level system where the Isetan part of the building and the actual building shares 2 levels to 1 lift level. So I had to take the lift to 4th floor. Or something. Which is actually the 5th floor of the building. Something like that. Talk about freaking out. Getting lost is one thing. Losing your car is another thing! Gah. What would dad say! Sheesh. Anyhows, managed to retrieve the car. I took Kenny ("driving instructor"), Jesse ("terrified girl") and Mira ("the calm one"). Kenny had the "Driving Instructor Syndrome" where he had an "imaginary brake pedal" and the tendency to say "clear". As in "clear" for changing lanes and reversing and stuff. Heh. It's weird. It's like having Dad in the passenger seat again! Wahahaha. Kidding. I understand his "kind" intentions. I couldn't parallel park again. Damn. We went to Simpang (again!? I know.) and there was a parallel parking slot. It's those "one-car" space. With motorcycles infront and behind of it. Anyways, I couldn't get the car to straighten and I kept striking the damned kerb. So Kenny took over. Hahahaha. Ok, he's the "parallel parking guru". But he can't differentiate "left" and "right". Ok, it was a great day after all. And I'm tired. And I missed the first episode of "America's Next Top Model". Darn. I'm outta here.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Insomnia Go Away!

Put Your Head On My Shoulder /Paul Anka Put your head on my shoulder Hold me in your arms, baby Squeeze me oh so tight Show me that you love me too Put your lips next to mine, dear Won't you kiss me once, baby Just a kiss goodnight, may be You and I will fall in love People say that love's a game A game you just can't win If there's a way I'll find it someday And then this fool will rush in Put your head on my shoulder Whisper in my ear, baby Words I want to hear Tell me, tell me that you love me too. Put your head on my shoulder Whisper in my ear, baby Words I want to hear, baby Put your head on my shoulder.
Heard the NUS Wind Symphony play at the Botanical Gardens this evening. "Mr James Chia" (He doesn't like me calling him that, but I'm just quoting) was performing. My, my. Was he a popular guy or what! He had at least 20 people supporting him, and just him alone. -__-!!! Talk about being popular. If I had known he had so many people supporting him, I probably wouldn't have gone. I didn't even manage to find where he was. Hahaha. I didn't know what instrument he was playing and which section he was sitting at. So decided to just enjoy the performance. The conductor's funny though. He kept thanking us for the applause, kept introducing the band (This is NUS Wind Symphony, o_O, ya, like we know already?) and he was pretty funny to look at from the backview. Very animated. But I guess all conductors are like that. Nelson Kwei was like that too, if not MORE animated. Nonetheless, it was a great performance. They played many favourite hits. Including the one above, Paul Anka's Put Your Head on my Shoulder, I absolutely love that song. Snippets of it only, though. And there was also "Somewhere Out there" and ABBA favourites. These bands seem to like playing ABBA alot. "Mama Mia" being one of them. Didn't stay after the performance as it was getting dark. And I didn't want to get lost. So we left after the encore performance. When we left it was slightly after 7. Apparently we got out of the wrong exit, which took us to Cluny Park or something. Lots of huge houses with driveways. -_-!!! Sheesh. Some even had guardhouses. Cows. Rich people estate. They must go to the Botanical Gardens very often since it's just opposite. LOL. So we ended up taking a cab to Commonwealth. -_-!!! Can you imagine!! We were like so far from where we started! We came from Orchard! But when we left the Gardens, we ended up at Commonwealth! What the.. And worst of all, it's a different MRT Line! Commonwealth is East-West, Orchard is North-South, FYI. Hahahaha. Really quite amusing. Got us freaked out for awhile, never been to this part of the island before. Gah! Then when I reached Tampines, Daddy on his way to fetch me home. Kangwei called. o_O!!! Asking me to go KTv. This is like the third time he's asking me and the third time I'm turning it down. Argh. I just hate it when people ask me to go out at the last minute especially when I'm already on my way home, or having a BBQ at home. So it's no surprise this time that I had to tell him, "Sorry, I can't make it." Haha, sorry I can't bid you farewell before you go to NS. Lotsa guys going into NS this week eh? Kenny, Edmond, Kangwei just to name a few. We're gonna "farewell" Kenny either on Sunday or Monday. Hahaha. Gonna be "botak" soon!!! Yippee!! I've been hit by insomnia. I've been trying to sleep since 10pm. I managed to fall asleep. Until I woke up at 1am. Dumb. Saw 3 messages. Two from Mira asking us to come online to discuss Kenny's farewell party. Haha. They'd decided on Monday. But we're changing it. To Sunday. Because Kenny Chan isn't free on Monday. One from Shuling asking me how come she couldn't type in her blog. o_O!!! Eh? She has a blog? Eh? What does she mean she can't type? Since I couldn't sleep, I came online to help. Hahaha. She was still online! Figuring out how to change the template. I'm finally feeling abit sleepier, after being online for 1 hour. Hahaha. Been trying to blog for 1hr. I almost did something just now. But I suppose it's not time yet. And I suppose it never will be time. Well, it's just too bad. The secret shall die with me. Out.

Friday, September 24, 2004

I forgot

In the midst of it all, I forgot one very important thing. I've got wonderful friends supporting me, loving me and caring for me. Who needs a boyfriend when you have such wonderful friends like mine? I've got Karen, Rach, Nad, Ouyang, Terry, Derrick, Shuling, Riv, Zhenting and more! And I'm thankful for them. Never once have I taken you guys for granted. Just wanted to let you guys know. I'm really grateful for having you all. To all my friends: I love you guys! And I thank the heavens above for bringing you guys into my life!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I lied

Please tell me the truth. If I told you, would you still be the same? Would we still be the same? I just want to know. But maybe I don't. The only reason I'm holding back is because I don't know how you would react if you knew. Would you avoid me? Would you shun me? Would you ignore me? I lied. I'm a big, fat liar. Ok, I'm not big and not fat. But I lied to you. Forgive me. I just couldn't give you the answer. I don't want to spoil anything. And because of that, I broke my own heart. I don't allow anyone else to break my heart. It's MY heart. I'll break it myself. Get it clear. You didn't break my heart. I broke it myself. So don't feel bad. Don't even think of feeling sorry for me. I don't need your sympathy. I just need your friendship. I'm not being noble. It's purely for selfish and personal reasons. I want your friendship. That's why I don't wish to tell you. It's not because I don't want to trouble you nor frustrate you. I'm also afraid of your reaction. I'm a coward. I feel like a yo-yo. Being thrown out to the end of my string and at the flick of your wrist, I get pulled back. Like as if nothing happened. I don't like how it feels. I still owe you something. And I hope when I fulfill that, I would have recovered. But a broken heart will never be the same again. Even though it has recovered, there'll still be lines of weaknesses and to overcome that, it makes itself even stronger. To prevent itself from breaking again. And that's not always good. Yet. Love like you've never loved before. Cry like you've never cried before. Once is enough though. Love is a game. And it's not just a two-player game. It's a multi-player network game. I'm out of this game. Love is like a dream. But I've woken up too early.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

It's all my fault

Argh. I'm feeling so troubled now. Troubled troubled troubled. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have. If I didn't, you wouldn't have. Then I wouldn't be so troubled now. I brought it upon myself. Argh. Stupid me. But how was I supposed to know? That you would.. If I knew, I wouldn't have. I really wouldn't have. Bah. ______________________________________ A wasted trip to town today. I only bought a ring. A miserable ring. All the way there and I only bought a ring. Argh. But it's nice ring. So there. Bah. I'm in a terrible mood. And I cannot blame anyone. But myself.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Hello Sunny, Byebye Cefiro!

Today's quite a day. Ask Karen and Shuling and you'll know. Haha! Inside joke. Collected the Sunny today. Kinda miss the Cefiro though. This is the first time I've ever gone with Dad together to collect the new car. Sigh! I miss the Cefiro! It's the first car I drove after I got my license. Sigh.
Sigh~ You served us well! I'll miss you!
Posted by Hello
Bye bye!!
Posted by Hello
Mummy with Cefiro
Posted by Hello Argh. Never mind. The old one needs to go for the new one to come! Hah. Oh wells, the new car's pretty good. But I suppose that's because it's new. It's more suitable for me too! Because it's smaller.

And also, we don't have to keep topping up the petrol so frequently anymore! I hope that saves us some money. Hah. I've turned our office into a mini-mart. With my collection of Lemon Puffs, marshmellows, Loacker biscuits and Famous Amos! Haha! Oops. Recently, I've taken a liking to Lemon Puffs. It's yummy! And mummy dearest bought me a big pack of them yesterday! Haha! Thanks Mum!
marshmellows!
Posted by Hello Then I accompanied Dad to some techpark in Ang Mo Kio. Ho ho. I love going to these techparks. It's those factories that you can drive your car up to the factory you're looking for. It's pretty cool! Haha. Like a gigantic multistorey carpark with shops.
Got bored waiting for Dad!
Posted by Hello I had the honour of driving the new car home today! The car's first trip. =) Yay. Black leather's cool. The new car's a cool colour too. Metallic blue. And best of all, it has a smaller steering wheel than the Cefiro.
New car!
Posted by Hello You know I sometimes miss the steering wheel after turning. Hahaha! Scares my mum whenever I do that. LOL. It's not on purpose, of course. I really missed the steering wheel. It's just too big. Ok. Fine. I have short hands. I miss the Cefiro already. :(

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Listening to: Judy Garland - Somewhere Over the Rainbow

How about this? I've always liked this model. Haha. It's roundish instead of squarish. And it's small. Only slightly bigger than a namecard. Wow. That's pretty small! Cool. And it's 5.1megapixel. Carl Zeiss lens. Hah. Cool eh? Muahaha, shall pester Mum to get me this. Ho ho. Shall go shopping for me Levi's soon! The voucher has arrived from Citibank. We've got Topshop vouchers too. Ho ho! I should hurry and get the U2 jacket too. In case the season changes and the jacket "disappears" from the shelves! And also a "gai gai" bag. I must go shopping soon. I must, I must, I must, I must! We're getting the new car soon! Yippee! Tomorrow! Or technically, later. Sel sel's a happy girl today!
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

I love Mummy

This camera is nice, isn't it? It's selling at $349. Ho ho. It's 3.2megapixels, 2.2 optical zoom. Ok, not fantastic, but it's so pretty! Very handy! Not like my bulky Olympus camera. Boo! I was thinking of selling away the Olympus at Cash Converters. Haha! I wonder how much it would fetch. Anyone has any idea? $200? $100? Hmm. Shall go ask. Hope it will fetch a higher price. I love my Mummy! She takes care of me when I'm sick, buys food home for me, buys little treats for me and treats me especially nice when I'm sick. I just love my Mummy. *Hugz!* It seems to be a trend to get knocked down by an MRT these days, ain't it? Why else can you explain the number of people who've been killed/injured by an MRT in these few months? Weird. It's quite frightening to hear the news report of these incidents almost every other day. All the train delays caused and the big "hoo-ha" over these incidents. SMRT should seriously do something about it. I don't know what, but something has to be done. Be it safety measures at its train stations, or educating MRT users not to commit suicide at its stations. -__-!!! I mean. Not that I'm unsympathetic to those people who are depressed or in dire straits or whatever. But it's really starting to be a pain in the neck when everyother day there're news reports on people getting killed/injured at ABC train station. Ok, never mind. I'm just being crappy. Ho ho. I watched Meteor Garden 1 this afternoon. *Sigh!* Zai Zai is sho dreamy. Jerry Yan's dreamy too. *Grin* I'm mad. My fever's gotten into my brains. And fried them. Hah. I ain't thinking right. I love my Mummy and I need a shopping dose. And we're going to Chinese Garden to check out the lanterns! Haha! Should I go with Mummy and Daddy? Or Project Grp? Hmm. *What a dilemma!* I've never been to the Chinese Garden. Heh. Yes. I'm Singaporean. I doubt EVERY Singaporean has been there. It's at such an ulu place. I didn't know there was an MRT station called "Chinese Garden" until Kangwei told me. Oops. I don't really go all the way to Boon Lay you know. It's until October 3. And it opens from 5pm- 11pm. It will feature Disney characters as well as Chinese mythical characters. I think I saw Lilo and Stitch, Nemo and Friends, the usual Mickey and gang and other fairytale characters. It looks great! I can't wait to go! I hope we get the car on Monday. Then we can go for a spin! Wheee! Bah. I'm outta here. Love ya, Rachel! =)

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Sick

Boohoohoo. Bad day. I'm sick!

I don't feel good.

In fact, I feel weird.

Lots of things going through my mind.

Sometimes I feel so alone.

Really alone.

Desperate to get out of this loneliness.

It's like a swarm of flies.

Buzzing around me.

Waiting to devour me.

Whole.

Argh.

I can't stand it!

Friday, September 17, 2004

I finally watched Singapore Idol today! Wahahahaha! I haven't watched any episodes of it since the "Lemon Tree" auditions alright! Ha ha. They always seem to show it on days when I have classes. Dumb. And what's this about choosing 2 more when they were only supposed to choose 1? I thought they made it clear that there was "only the top number of votes and no second and third"? Argh. It's always like this when the producers of the show want people who didn't get chosen to continue in the game. Just like a certain competition I was in. Right. Nevertheless, I'm rather happy with this episode's result! Ho ho! That Sylvester Sim person got in! Ha ha. Some of them really cannot make it la. :X Hopefully I'll be at home the following Thursdays to watch the rest of Singapore Idol! Ha ha. Oh ya! I was watching The Apprentice just now and it suddenly occurred to me that Donald Trump shares an UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE to Days of Our Lives star, Mr John Black! That "pout", the way they talk, the way they raise one eyebrow and the expression in their eyes. Wahahahaha. And I only realised today that Mr Trump has a sense of humour. He was at a work site and there was a big wind blowing and he said that he was glad! Why? Because now people will know that his hair is real! He's not wearing a wig! Haha! I thought that was really funny. I suddenly hate going for classes. I don't know why. There's just some people I don't seem to want to see that often anymore. Bah. You know, that certain kind of people who just pisses you off when they open their mouth to speak. But well, I suppose since there's a high possibility of us being a project group, I'd better keep my mouth shut and avoid getting into arguments with them. It's stupid arguing with a stupid person. So just f*** off, bugger! I don't want to talk to you!

Thursday, September 16, 2004

my pet! Wahaha, since I can't have a real dog, I'll settle with a virtual one! Ho ho!
Muahahaha, gone are the days of jet-black hair! Hello brown hair with golden streaks! Muahahaha! I've finally dyed my "virgin" hair! Ho ho! And it has turned brown! Whee! But I'm starting to miss my black hair the minute the hairstylist applied the hairdye on the first "piak" of hair. =( But still! It's a change! And I sorta like it! OMG! One of the bulbs blew! Hahaha! How funny! I am going to post up pictures! Hee hee! Big project ah, so I need 2 people to work on my hair! Har har! Posted by Hello Nad's obsessed with this word on my, urm, apron. Posted by Hello Looking like a crazy woman! Posted by Hello Aluminium wrapped hair~ Posted by Hello More aluminium! Posted by Hello The "mixture". It stinks man! Posted by Hello The stack of magazines that kept me company! Posted by Hello Processing.. Posted by Hello Still processing.. Posted by Hello Muahaha.. Nad is clicking away happily! Posted by Hello Nad keeps taking my pics. Haha! Hence the grumpy face to satisfy her! Posted by Hello I said "Stop taking!! Roarrr..!!" Ha ha! Scary eyes eh! Posted by Hello Rach is back! Ho ho! Freshly washed hair! Posted by Hello As you can see, rebonding is a long and ardous task!! Haha! Posted by Hello So is dyeing your hair.. Posted by Hello Then we, 3 hungry girls, headed over to Bugis Junction for some food! Most of the shops were closed! Poor us! Ajisen refused to take our orders. !#$%^$@. Boo! Give ya business ya don't want! Hmmphx. Never mind, thanks to Ajisen, we got to know this superb pasta place, Sketchers! Great pasta and great ambience. Very nice, cosy feeling! *Thumbs up!* More photo-taking! Good place with good pasta! Yummy yummy! Posted by Hello Nice place! =) Good ambience! Yellow lights! Posted by Hello End result after 3 hrs! =) Posted by Hello Side view! Posted by Hello Rachel C with her newly rebonded hair! Posted by Hello Group pic! I love this pic! Posted by Hello And another one~ Posted by Hello Beware! The following 3 pics contains pictures of good food! The empty-stomachs beware! Might provoke a sudden craving for pasta! Muahahahahahahahaha! *mad* My order! I don't know the name! Ah. Black pepper affair. Or something like that! Ho ho! I love Linguine! Posted by Hello Rach's order, also "Feelin' Prawny" but with Linguine! Posted by Hello Nad's order "Feelin' Prawny". Forgot the name of the pasta! Fettucine I think.. Posted by Hello OK, that's the end of my "photo" post. Ho ho! Hope you're still around! LOL! Anyways, comments on my new hair (good comments ONLY!) will be welcomed! Ha ha! Kidding lar. You can don't say anything if you don't want to! =) *Photos courtesy of nad.