Sunday, November 21, 2004

I can't wait for BIS to be over. Exams really suck, don't they. Dammit. I think I'm going to fail. :( I'm suffering from a nervous breakdown. I'm going to be BUSY till Christmas. So, sorry guys, if I don't update here or you don't see me online.. I'll be having carolling practices and classes. Every single day of the week. Darn. TILL CHRISTMAS!! Food comm steamboat! I want to go!!! Seriously. Haix. But chances are bleak since Rach L isn't free on weekends and I'm not free on weekdays. :( Miss you guys loads!!!! Ciao. Oh ya. Wish me luck for my BIS paper. *Fingers crossed*

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Busy

I am SO sorry for the lack of updates. I've started work at Police HQ. Ho ho. I love government jobs! Ok, the job scope kinda sucks. But the place is like, FANTASTIC! The place I'm working at is New Phoenix Park. Sounds cool right? I mean, even the name of the place sounds so cool. Like Silicon Valley. Haha. I'm crazy. There're two buildings joined together, Ministry of Home Affairs and Singapore Police Force HQ. There's a food court, a gym, a library, a multipurpose sports hall and a blody garden. It's like a CONDOMINIUM!!! All it lacks is a swimming pool. And Internet access. Darn. I don't have Internet access!! Only Intranet. So boring la. All I do is data entry. But it's skilled data entry ok. Not your ordinary data entry. It's so difficult. Never mind. I can't say much. I signed a code of secrecy. If I tell you, I'd have to kill you. *Snort* Ah! My exams are coming! Like in 4 days' time! And I. Haven't. Started. So help me, God. I'm sorry I didn't reply your SMS Rach L. Was away and without my handphone. Oops. And to those who check my blog. So sorry to have let you all see the same entry for the past 1 week. I've been busy KTV-ing. First with Shuling and gang, then with 1B17. OMG. I sang like 6hrs of KTV. The KTV place at Marina South is so stylo. A disco + pub + KTV all-in-one. Hah. And it opens till 6am. If I hear another Jay Chow(Chou?) song, I'd die. And I'm so sleep deprived, I can sleep for 15hrs straight. I've been shitting alot too. Hah. Must be the "healthy" lifestyle I'm having now. I think by the end of the 3 months' contract, I'd have toned legs and a firm ass. Hmmm. One of the perks (pun intended) of working at NPPK. Wheee! Ok. I need to study. Till 25 Nov.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004


Gah. This is the Sally in question. Heh. It doesn't appear in the blog entry! Nah! You can have the entire post to yourself! *Fumes*
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News

Anybody looking for Olympus/ Canon/ Fujifilm/ Panasonic cameras? Please drop by Funan The IT Mall (Or store, I can't remember). Level 5, there's a small shop, ZoomPix. Guaranteed Low Prices! Olympus Mini retailing at only $525 (w/o GST), $120 off the market price! Woohoo! Olympus Mini White? Posted by Hello Or Red? Posted by Hello Free gift is a 128MB memory card! Sounds too good to be true? Well, it is! I sound like a TV commercial. I mean, it's really true. My cousin is working there. It's really cheap. So if any of you guys are looking for digicams, ZoomPix is the place to go! Hahaha. But please don't say I told you all to go there. Hahaha. I'll get killed. So urm, just pretend you all don't know la, ok? Deal? Set. Check out my new French Manicure below! French Manicure! Posted by Hello Looks pro? Not. It's D-I-Y!! Urm, it's Do-It-Yourself. I did it myself! And those are my nails, of course. With the help of this!

Sally Hansen's French Manicure Kit
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But Sally is so mean to me! She cheated me of the French Manicure painting guides!! :( I had to do my french manicure without the painting guides. But it still turned out well, didn't it? In fact, I was so pleased with it, I took a photo and MMS-ed to Karen! Hahahaha. Eh, Sally, you very bad. Your French Manicure set already so expensive!! $13.05 from Watson's. Then still want to cheat me of my painting guides. Hmmphx. Not very ethical of you, Sally. *Shakes head* Ooh, the Police HQ personnel called! Whee! I'm going to start work on the 8th Nov! Hee hee. Wheee! And I got my provisional results for my Human Resource report. Boohoohoo!! I only managed a C!!!! Hmmmphx. I think Mike O' Connor don't like me. Hah. Dumb. Somebody failed though. Hmm.. Hope it's not Alan, Cindy or Junxian. Gah, I need to eat. Later.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Should I? Or should I not?

How many times have you kept your feelings to yourself for fear that being honest and open about your feelings will spoil the relationship you have with a person? I am used to being open and honest. I can't keep myself from not thinking about things. "What ifs" are my favourite. What if I told him, and he feels otherwise? What if he avoids me? What if it affects the friendship? What if I told him, and he says, "Why'd you only tell me now? I've already someone else." Too late, darling. Too late. What if I told him, and he says, "But I only treat you as a friend. Nothing else." Will I be heartbroken? Will I be relieved? For me, the key to moving on is to tie up all loose ends. I'm not one to keep feelings to myself. They need to get out. Only then will I be able to move on. I need to answer to myself, "At least I tried, he just didn't feel the same. Let's just move on with life." Or maybe, "I guess he's just not The One." Whatever it is, I just have to let it out. Hiding feelings just isn't my thing. But why am I not feeling the same about this? I haven't been rejected for a long time. I haven't been in love for a long time. I've forgotten how rejection feels like. And I don't want to feel it again. I've forgotten how being in love feels like. I'd like to feel that again. More, please. I'm just afraid. Afraid of the consequences. The reactions. The confrontations. Most importantly. I'm afraid of the rejection. They always say, "It's easier for a girl to make the first move. Guys rarely will reject a girl who makes the first move." Right. I don't feel the same way! I feel that guys are more likely to reject girls who make the first move. Thinking, "Oh my god. She's so thick-skinned/ outspoken/ open/ honest/ whatever adjective to describe a girl who makes the first move!" But I'm just afraid of the reaction. As well as the "after-math" of the honesty. Honesty is the best policy. No? Well, if it's mutual, it's good. Yes. If it's not mutual and only one side is honest, it's not! And then what comes after telling him my feelings? Hmm. "Then?" Erm. We'll remain the same. Hah. Nothing else. I just needed to let it out. Eh? Argh. I don't know what to do! Help! This is driving me nuts. Crazy. Mad. Cranky. Siao. Gila. Bonkers. Up the wall. IT'S HAUNTING ME EVERYDAY. Should I? Or should I not? So what is it?

Overdue Greetings

Some overdue greetings! Granny Selena has memory problems and need to eat more bananas for potassium! First. Happy 20th Karen!!! Yay! Welcome to the "20's Club"! Finally. Cheers to 4 years of friendship! Hope you had a great birthday! And hope you enjoy the present Zhenting and I got for you! Love ya! *Muacks!* Second. Heartiest congratulations to Rachel Lum and James for passing your driving tests!! Yay! 2 more drivers to the club! Whee! Can I get a ride?

Monday, November 01, 2004

It's a sign?

I thought as long as I keep myself busy, I'd forget you. But in the process, I forgot what I was running away from. The fear of rejection, the fear of anticipation. The need for happiness, should overcome all these fears. Maybe it's God's plan. To let me know what is true love. To make me stronger.
I will wait, along the coasts, for you.
Maybe one day, the tide will change, and bring you back.

New bag! Bought at the Metro Warehouse Sale! Wheee!
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