Random picture. Taken after facial. Woohoo. Swollen nose (from all that squeezing) and swollen eyes (from the lying down). 

Darling Baby! A silky terrier pup, only 7 months old, absolute cutie. 

In Loving Memory of my er-yi zhang who passed away peacefully at home.. 27th January 2006.. Happy CNY, er-yi zhang.. You left us for a happier place.. where there is no pain.. I hope you're happy wherever you are now.. Sorry I only knew about it today and missed your funeral.. But I will send you off tomorrow.. I promise.. My heart feels so heavy now.. No matter how much I cry, I know I can't bring him back.. But I was just starting to know him.. Now all I have are memories of him.. Yi Lu Shun Feng..

Mr Tan made me take this quiz at 3.30am in the morning. *mutters "boh liao"*

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Well, obviously it ain't very accurate because all my friends will know that I am not a good actor, not a good painter and I've forgotten how to play the piano. BUT I can possibly make a good dancer (with practice and choreographed dance steps), a quite-good comedian and an EXCELLENT BOOK EDITOR plus CLOTHES DESIGNER. I know, because I'm good at picking out people's spelling errors, grammar errors, pronounciation errors, whatever errors la. Yeah. I see people nodding in agreement. Wahahahaha. Then I got bored while waiting for "Las Vegas" at 2am on Channel 5 (this episode got Paris Hilton, woohoo!) so I decided to stick Swarovski crystals on my beloved Casio Exilim. My precious with Swarovski crystals Nice hor? Ok, this photo does not do the crystals justice because they are in fact, "bling-ier" than this. Hrmmm. Never mind, next time I see you, ask me to show you ok? Ooh I love my nails. And if any of you are interested in doing a classic manicure & pedicure @ $35 (yes, $35 for both), tag me or something. I got lobang. =) Hmmm, what else do I want to show you all. Oh, okay, some random photo I took at Sheraton Towers while doing some D&D for some company. Before I rebonded my hair. Taken @ Sheraton Towers And I'm quite sian-ed today 'cos Nadnut saw my hair and said, "Like not much difference ley." -_-"" Arh. Got okay! Now no more "pong pong" hair liao! And it's shinier and smoother than before. Ha ha ha ha. So exciting hor, CNY is just around the corner. Really, just around the corner. Like tomorrow ley!! Wah I'm quite excited, finally can wear my new clothes. Wahahaha. And Nad says that I don't wear those "funky clothes" she sees on my blog. Like those I bought from Esprit, or *insert random place* or *insert another random place*. Next time I wear I take photo show you ok! Ok, I got nothing to crap liao. Ran out of things to say. So hurt, someone said he can't communicate with me over MSN and can't be bothered to try. Sob sob sob. I shall go one corner and cry. *wails*

Checklist for CNY 2006

1. Hair - CHECKED! Rebonded @ Karen's mum's shop

No more "qiao qiao" hair!

2. Face - CHECKED! Facial @ Body Contours Roxy

3. Nails - CHECKED! Manicure and Pedicure @ Scense Bugis

Very very dark toe nails and very very light finger nails. Talk about being extreme.

4. Clothes - CHECKED! Haul this year, 2 pairs of shoes, 2 skirts, 1 denim capri, 5 tops, 1 long skirt, 1 berms, 1 bag

5. House - CHECKED! Decorated with red firecrackers, stickers, lanterns, flowers, cleaned the house

Wheee! selsel is ready for CNY 06! Hyuk hyuk hyuk! =)

Are you ready for CNY?

I know you loved the surprise we gave you! And I am the mastermind! Woohoo! =) *Hugz*

Something is definitely wrong with me. I am blowing up at the slightest reasons. I don't know why. I don't think it's PMS. It's probably due to all the pent up energy in me that's been building up. Or maybe it's the late nights that I've been keeping, causing me to have very irregular sleeping and eating patterns. Or maybe it's the presence of these really pesky people around me. I really don't know. All I want to say is, I've said about a million times that I didn't like people to call me "siao". Look, even if I really am "siao", I probably know it myself, and I don't need YOU to re-emphasize that. Besides the fact that it irritates the hell out of me, I think it's pretty rude to call people "siao" even if you're just joking. And you know what, it's no use saying "Sorry" when you don't intend to change or drop the habit of calling me "siao". So what if you "said sorry liao"? It doesn't help, because I know you'll still continue doing/saying it. So forget it, don't say sorry. Save it and say it only when you mean it. I know you'll read this, and you'll probably be thinking "siao!" in your heart but whatever, I don't really care. Just don't say it out loud to me. Argh just really hate having to repeat myself a million times. And I was joking about the "don't come back" part. So where are you leaving for? ***************************************************** Post note: Am going for a spa and facial later in the afternoon with Mummy! Milk bath and relaxing facial. Maybe after the spa I'll feel better. And after the spa and facial, I'll be heading over to Bugis for a manicure and pedicure! Woohoo! Am looking forward to feet scrub, massage, clean nails and best of all, FABULOUS LOOKING NAILS TO WELCOME CNY. Talk about self-indulgence. I need lots of it to stop myself from biting people's heads off over the slightest things.

Must.Stop.Buying.Clothes. Must.Stop.Buying.Shoes. Must.Stop.Buying.Food. Oh god. 3 of my biggest indulgence.. I bought faded denim capri and a mini knitted sweater today when I went shopping with Ms Ha Ha Han at Bugis. Thank god I don't have expensive taste. Thank god I don't need branded stuff to make me feel good or look good. Thank god I can look nice wearing "brandless" stuff. Thank god. If not I'll probably be in mountains of debts by now. Yeah. *************************************************** Don't say I don't/won't understand when you haven't even made the effort to make me understand. It makes me feel stupid/dumb, it's like as if I can't understand simple English, and actually it's just your way of communicating, which has probably gone wrong somewhere. If you actually made an effort to tell me properly or explain the situation to me, I'd probably get it. It's not like I have zero IQ or am mentally retarded or something. So next time before you say I don't/won't understand, please at least make the effort to make me understand. **************************************************** It's good to learn to say "No" to people sometimes.. If you feel that this is something that you don't need to do or not obliged to do it, just say "No". **************************************************** When guys bitch/tell you about their problems /situation, you're (girls) not expected to come up with a solution to their problems/ situation, because they don't need a solution, they just want to pour out their grievances to you. Just offer a listening ear or a good pair of reading eyes. ****************************************************

Do you ever wonder.. sometimes.. what if.. everything went well, we didn't argue, it didn't sort of just die off.. whether we'd still be together? Well, I do. Sometimes.. When it's really late, and I'm really bored.. I think.. What if.. it had all been good.. Till today, I still don't really know why it ended up the way it did.. When people ask, I just say it was a mutual decision. It was.. I think we both knew it was on the rocks, going nowhere.. Just that we took a long time to make a decision out of it.. I never really did talk about this to anyone.. Not even to my best friends.. I thought I took it pretty well.. I cried, of course, for days and nights.. Even before the end of it all.. And when the end finally came, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief.. It's like a knot that had come undone.. I always thought I got over it really nicely, the wound healed quickly, I was up and about in no time. Or perhaps I was just drowning myself in a new environment, SIP was just a day after it happened.. And I didn't have anyone to talk about it to.. So I just kept everything to myself, just kept pushing everything deeper and deeper.. Maybe I never did have the courage to talk about it.. nor face the wound.. It has been coming back more often these days.. I don't know why.. I think it's a phase.. A phase that's getting stronger.. I hope it'll pass soon.. Perhaps, the person who's been hiding in an emotional cave all along was me.. These 3 years have gone by in a wheeze. I really thought I'd recovered.. After all, it'd been so long since it happened.. I've lived these 3 years pretty meaningfully and I was kept really busy.. I guess.. But now, I seem to be hitting a point in my life where everything seems so.. meaningless.. School is a joke.. I go to class barely once a week.. I do projects.. I only study for exams a week before the paper.. And exams are once every three months.. Sometimes I wished I had applied for NUS or NTU.. Instead of doing a private correspondence degree.. Which seems so.. meaningless.. Sure, it sounds great.. Hey, I only need to do 2 years.. And I've been slacking the way through.. Then I'll graduate.. With a degree from a good university in UK, no less. But who am I really kidding.. I miss campus life.. Poly life had been great.. I think tertiary education is great.. I'm glad I went to Poly.. And had a taste of what life would be in Uni.. I would have really wasted my life if I hadn't.. Digressing a great deal here.. But what I'm trying to say is.. My life is basically empty.. Nothing drives me anymore.. Nothing really motivates me.. And there are periods in my days where it's basically just really.. Empty.. Zilch.. Nada.. Zero.. These are the empty periods that allows me to brood.. Think.. About the past.. About the future.. About the "what-ifs" in my life.. And I hate it. If there was a list of what I regret in my life.. One of them on the list would be not putting in enough effort in the relationship.. I thought I did.. But now that I think back, I probably didn't do enough.. There's always the path of getting into another relationship.. And starting with a blank new slate.. But how can I.. When I haven't even recovered from the previous one.. How can I.. Even bring myself to love another.. When it still hurts me when I think about it.. How can I.. Start a new relationship.. When the previous one's still smarting.. I really thought I'd recovered.. I really really thought so.. But I guess I was wrong.. I guess the person who's hiding in an emotional cave has always been me.. I'm always telling people that there's no point moving on when you haven't let go.. Dragging that extra emotional baggage only slows you down.. It's not that easy to apply that in my own life now, is it.. Maybe one day.. I will walk out of this shadow.. And be able to share again..

Green eyes! 

I hate people who tua me. As much as I hate people who step on the back of my slippers. Or drag their feet when they walk. This past week was a week of tua-ing. It's the "Tua Sel Week". First it was people who said would come, but didn't. A few of them, but let's not mention names. And then there was the movie we were supposed to catch, but didn't. Plus the thing today we're supposed to go together, but didn't. Alright. It's not that I'm still pissed now, but it's more of a "You said you can make it/come/will try/come late but didn't" kind of situation that I'm pissed with. Then it's more about the fact that you made an arrangement/appointment/date/deal with me and you broke it/cancelled/didn't inform me/didn't try to come/didn't say that you cannot come/didn't apologise. Yes, and I hate people like that. I hate making time for people to spend the day with and only to be stood up/strung along/yes, no, maybe-ed. Worse, if you only told me that you were not coming on the day itself/ 5 mins before we're supposed to meet/ not tell me at all/ didn't apologise for not turning up at all. Just because there were going to be other people there, doesn't mean that you can automatically not turn up and not feel sorry about it and not inform me and not apologise. I mean, come on, that's basic courtesy. Ok, whatever. Next time I'm just not going to include these people. I hate getting stood up. Especially when I made the time and effort to organise the party/dinner/date/etc and you said you were going to turn up.

CONGRATULATIONS TO KAREN HA HA HA HA HAN ON PASSING HER DRIVING TEST AND GETTING HER LICENSE! WOOHOO! A NEW ADDITION TO THE CLUB! WHEEE! When are you going to fetch me home???????? And to eat prata?????? And to 85????? I waiting ok????

Because. Alright, it's 2.27am and I'm bored after trying to do my marketing project which is due on the 26th but still only halfway done. God. Save. Me. Because I'm really hungry and am craving for about a million stuff to eat. Oh by the way, Apple.com.sg really sucks. Argh. Dumb webbie. Okay, anyways, the point being. I want to eat!! So I'm gonna list my top 10 favourite food. Woohoo!

1. Salmon Sashimi and any other variations of it, like Hana Maki. LOL.
2. Joy Dried Mangoes
3. Mac's Hotcakes
4. Mac's Frenchfries
5. BK Chicken Cheese Stix
6. Chocolate Eclair from that Beard Papa place
7. ICE MONSTER!!! ARGHHH.
8. Calbee's Very Pari Pari chips
9. Swensen's Black Pepper Seafood Pasta. YUM!
10. Strawberry ice-cream.

Edited @ 5.24am : I knew I forgot something. Cheese prata from Simpang! Urgh.

Ok, actually I suppose there are more, just that my starving mind cannot remember. I can eat the abovementioned foods EVERYDAY!

ROAR. Hungry. Sel.

Right. Shall go back to my project and watch Las Vegas at the same time. That Danny guy is an absolute cutie. *drool*

Am going for the New York Skin Solutions free trial facial thing tomorrow.

It.Better.Be.Good. Grr.

And hardselling consultants/therapists/salesgirls/managers WILL BE PROSECUTED.

Wahahahahahahahahahaha.

A photo to scare all you people. *muack!* Nerdy me - Just woke up.

Remember I said I bought 12 pairs of shoes in 2005? Well, actually it was 13. Let's see. Let me list them out.

1. White ballet flats, Mondo
2. Green wedges, X:odus
3. Brown suede pointed toe pumps, Mondo
4. Silver metallic flats, Charles & Keith
5. Black rubber flip flops, Projectshop
6. Hot Pink Polka Dots wedges, Charles & Keith
7. Indiana Flats, X:odus
8. Flats, M)phosis
9. Pink pumps, Trendy Zone @ Far East
10. Birkies, from Mr Tan
11. Fuzzy Flats, X:odus
12. Tarah Tassels, X:odus
13. White Peep toe sandals, Mondo
14. Metallic strappy flats, Mondo

I think I left out one pair. I seriously can't think anymore. But the list is quite horrendous eh. God. *slaps self* Must. Stop. Buying. Shoes!!!

The last 2 additions were actually bought today! Ha ha ha ha, for CNY la. Ha ha ha. It was the fastest purchase of today! Just went, saw, tried and paid. Woohoo. Never seen my mummy so decisive before.

Bought *some* of my new year clothes today. Ho ho ho. 2 tops from Ebase, 1 skirt from OP (my mummy very bias, buy clothes for my nephew and niece, never even complain expensive. I want to complain!!!!!!!!!!! Argh.), 1 skirt from Red2 (actually this was Jurong Point yesterday, but wth. I finally used them vouchers anyway! Yay!).

So actually, it's quite funny because I bought clothes that can't be matched with each other. The skirt is purple, so it's impossible to match my tops because they are peach and pink respectively. And the skirt from Jurong Point is brown, so perhaps it can go with the pink, I don't know. Haven't thought of it.

Then I went to Marina Square with Zhenting the other day, and I bought this cute Zebra tee from Esprit! Aiyoh, damn cute la, I had to get it. Woo. Plus, I had additional 10% discount since I'm member. So it's really damn cheap after all. Hee.

Oh and actually I already another top, from Ness @ TM, ha ha ha ha ha, so actually I GOT DAMN A LOT OF CLOTHES FOR CNY ALREADY! Alamak. How.

I should save the money for my hair eh. Am contemplating on rebonding my hair, since I'm sick of having stupid kinks in my hair, since it's so blody layered. And I hate having bad hair days. i.e. when I clip up ALL my fringe, that's when I'm having a bad hair day. So don't ask.

Also, my trusty N6230 is really really dying. Sigh~ Mummy said to wait for it to really dieeeeee then change new one. Alamak. Then will be too late righ? Cannot trade in! Hmm. *shrugs* Don't know. Shall see how.

Haven't really decided on which phone to get anyways. Nokia? Samsung? Motorola Razr V3 PINK!!!!! Ha haha haa. Cannot let bimbotic desires rule over my head. No no no no.

*slaps self*

I WANNA BUY YELLOW YELLOW CLOTHES! I CAN'T FIND NICE YELLOW CLOTHES! WHY!?!?!?

And I realise I tend to buy pinkish/mauve/reddish clothes (almost the same shades) when shopping during CNY period. Why huh? Maybe the proportion of pinkish/mauve/reddish clothes is higher than other colours, e.g. Black, white, blue, green?

Weirdness.

Must. Buy. Other. Colours. Of. Clothes.

Ok. Time to sleep.

Need to do my marketing project tomorrow. And I've been thrown the task of designing my group's company's logo / brouchers / fliers / etc. Argh. Why!??!?!

Do I look very artistic to you!? Huh huh huh.

Alamak. Never mind. Time to make those artistic brain cells work.

I present to you.. Board of Fame Not. So don't panic if you don't see your face in the photos. And don't curse and swear at me. *mumble mumble* It's probably 'cos I don't have your photo or maybe it's not nice or maybe I just didn't feel like putting it up yet or maybe I really just don't feel like putting it up. KIDDING. Aiya, no space la. Chill man. It's just a cork-board. Ha ha ha ha ha. Anyhoos. Click on the picture to see the magnified version. Oh my god. I'm so happy with it. Completely in love. It's my new desktop wallpaper. Ho ho ho ho. I love it love it love it love it. *<3* Wheeeeee.

Tis' the season to get ang paos Wahahaha, I'm getting excited! Because Chinese New Year is coming! Gong Xi Gong Xi everybardee. Hee hee. Time to get new clothes!!! Muahahaha, CNY is always a good excuse to go shopping and get new clothes plus get the 'rents to pay! Ho ho ho. Because CNY clothes are supposed to be given by parents to children eh? Or something like that. And also shoessss. Oh my oh my.. Shoessssss.. *slaps self* I already bought 12 pairs in 2005. So I had better exercise some self-control. Maybe just one pair? Hee? Plus bags to go along, a new haircut, you know, new year must have new look. (My neighbour is very noisy, practicing with his band I think. I hear trumpets, drums, cowbells, what-have-you. -_-") The best part of these? ALL SPONSORED BY THE 'RENTS. Or so I hope. Wahahahahaha. Ok la, maybe not everything. Partial sponsor I also don't mind. Love all the visitings we're gonna make, ang paos I'm going to get, I think I may get an extra one this year (it better be big *stare*), but my parents have to give two extra paos.. LOL. I think they're happy to give anyway. It's so weird that my parents are grandparents and I'm still so young. Like 21. And my parents are grandparents. Picture this yourself. You, ok maybe Rach Lum or Nad or perhaps whoever else, imagine your parents are grandparents! That'd be weird eh? I dunno, I suppose it's the age vs mentality thing. Bah. I'm still trying to get used to this. Keyword: still. I don't know la, you can say I'm weird or stupid or whatever, but I just find this whole incident a bit hard to swallow. Argh. The agony. Melvin Tan is turning into a mahjong freak. Ha ha ha ha. Somehow he's addicted to the game of tiles!! Everytime he free he will ask me to play mahjong. Aiyo! Very bad very bad. Not my fault hor? I wasn't the one who started him on this mahjong thing. Hrmm.. I don't know who did, but I have a feeling his mum ain't gonna be pleased with that person. LOL. And I just realised you can sing "Deck the Halls" and change the lyrics and it becomes a CNY song! Woohoo. See. Deck the Halls with mandarin oranges, fa la la la la la la la la Tis' the season to play mahjong, fa la la la la la la la la Don we now our new apparels, fa la la la la la la la la Shoot. I forgot the rest of the lyrics. Hrmm. How can I forget!!!! I sang this for one week straight last year! Oh. It's LAST year. No wonder I forgot. Wahahahaha. One year ago leh. How to remember. Ok la, whatever, it's kinda boh liaos anyway. Just need to make a shout out: I HAVE THE SUPER CUE! Muahahahahaha. Ok, I gotta go. Ciao people. Better go buy your new year clothes if you haven't!

Hospitals make me depressed Visited my uncle at the hospital today. He got admitted last night for high fever due to viral infection. He lost so much weight since I last saw him. It's scary how much weight he lost and how small he's become. My mum couldn't even recognize him when he was lying in the bed. He has cancer. Stomach cancer of some sort. His intestines or something. I'm not too sure. But it was heart-wrenching to see someone who used to be so tall and healthy to be lying there, not allowed food and drinks and so weak that he can't even get out of bed. I hope he gets well soon. He's a nice man. I'm just starting to know him. Don't take him away ok?

 

Samuel! 

Jean! 

Big ass flat screen (plasma?) TV 

Cool lava lamp 

Party girl! 

Window climbers 

Flower boy! 

Yummy chocolate cake! 

Eyeing her birthday cake. Hahahaha. 

How's my hat? 

Aww.. So sweet. But he was strangling her a moment before this picture was taken. Hahaha. 

Twist! 

He was in the midst of saying "Flower!"