Should I? Or should I not?

How many times have you kept your feelings to yourself for fear that being honest and open about your feelings will spoil the relationship you have with a person? I am used to being open and honest. I can't keep myself from not thinking about things. "What ifs" are my favourite. What if I told him, and he feels otherwise? What if he avoids me? What if it affects the friendship? What if I told him, and he says, "Why'd you only tell me now? I've already someone else." Too late, darling. Too late. What if I told him, and he says, "But I only treat you as a friend. Nothing else." Will I be heartbroken? Will I be relieved? For me, the key to moving on is to tie up all loose ends. I'm not one to keep feelings to myself. They need to get out. Only then will I be able to move on. I need to answer to myself, "At least I tried, he just didn't feel the same. Let's just move on with life." Or maybe, "I guess he's just not The One." Whatever it is, I just have to let it out. Hiding feelings just isn't my thing. But why am I not feeling the same about this? I haven't been rejected for a long time. I haven't been in love for a long time. I've forgotten how rejection feels like. And I don't want to feel it again. I've forgotten how being in love feels like. I'd like to feel that again. More, please. I'm just afraid. Afraid of the consequences. The reactions. The confrontations. Most importantly. I'm afraid of the rejection. They always say, "It's easier for a girl to make the first move. Guys rarely will reject a girl who makes the first move." Right. I don't feel the same way! I feel that guys are more likely to reject girls who make the first move. Thinking, "Oh my god. She's so thick-skinned/ outspoken/ open/ honest/ whatever adjective to describe a girl who makes the first move!" But I'm just afraid of the reaction. As well as the "after-math" of the honesty. Honesty is the best policy. No? Well, if it's mutual, it's good. Yes. If it's not mutual and only one side is honest, it's not! And then what comes after telling him my feelings? Hmm. "Then?" Erm. We'll remain the same. Hah. Nothing else. I just needed to let it out. Eh? Argh. I don't know what to do! Help! This is driving me nuts. Crazy. Mad. Cranky. Siao. Gila. Bonkers. Up the wall. IT'S HAUNTING ME EVERYDAY. Should I? Or should I not? So what is it?